Internet Safety

Be mindful of your computer safety.  If your abuser has access to your computer, he has access to your email and  websites you visited.   Even though you’ve deleted items and erased your history and cookies, there are still ways of discovering items and places you’ve been.   There are ways of covering your tracks, however a computer your abuser has access to, may never be 100% safe.   It’s best to use a computer your abuser has no access at all.

For more information on internet safety and instructions on how to cover your tracks visit the following websites.

 

San Diego Domestic Violence Council

http://www.sddvc.com/need-help.html

WomensLaw.org
http://www.womenslaw.org/simple.php?sitemap_id=10

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

For help call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) TTY 1-800-787-3224

http://www.ncadv.org/protectyourself/InternetSafety_121.html

  

National Network to End Domestic Violence
http://www.nnedv.org/internetsafety.html

Safety in an Abusive Relationship

• When violence occurs attempt to leave. Leave the room, house, location, etc…
• Have a safety plan for your home.  Like a fire drill.   Have a plan for you and your children when violence occurs so you all know where to go in the home to stay safe.  Attempt to stay out of rooms where weapons are located. PRACTICE YOUR PLAN
• If there are weapons in the home try and hide or lock them up.   This includes both guns and knives, but be aware of other objects that can be used as weapons, such as a hammer, screw driver, ice pick, etc…
• During violence stay away from the children so they don’t get hurt.  Make sure they have several safe places to go in the home so they are not in the same room when violence occurs.
• Always have a phone or know where all the phones are, including pay phones down the street.
• Know your local domestic violence hotline or shelter numbers.

San Diego County Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-888-DV Links (1-888-385-4657)

§         If you can talk with neighbors and friends, make a safety plan with them to help you and your children.

§         Keep an extra set of car keys.  If possible keep them outside or in the garage where your abuser won’t find them. Have your car ready at all times with a full tank of gas and make a habit of backing into your driveway for a quicker get away.

§         Have an idea of what to do or say if your abuser discovers your plan or your children tell your abuser of your plan. 

When you are ready to leave:

• Contact someone to tell them you’re planning to leave.  Tell someone like a relative, friend, or agency.  Leaving can be the most dangerous time for a victim.  
• Save money.  The amount you save doesn’t matter as long as you have something.  
• Make copies of keys and important documents then leave them with a friend, relative, or neighbor.  If you don’t have someone to leave them with pack a bag and keep it in a safe location in your home.

Items that are good to have:

¾    birth certificates

¾    social security cards

¾    Legal papers, marriage license, wills, passport, medical record, etc…

¾    Medication for you and the children

¾    children’s school and medical records

¾    bank books

¾    welfare information

¾    Insurance papers, etc...

• Keep any evidence of the abuse in a safe place, like pictures (date all pictures), doctors records, police reports, journals that you keep, etc…
• Know where to go and plan ahead.  Have numbers for shelters, hotlines, friends, and relatives.
• Contact a domestic violence agency to learn about laws and resources available to you.
• Call law enforcement to be on call or escort you out of the house.
• Medication; both for you and your children.   If possible order extra ahead of time so you always have a supply.
• Personal items, toothpaste, shampoo, clothing, etc…

If there is an emergency, leave every thing and get to a safe place.

Ways to stay safe on your own;

• Change the locks on your door
• Change your phone numbers and keep them unlisted (this includes your cell phone).  Get caller ID if you can.
• Learn about your legal rights
• If you have a restraining order keep it with you at all times.   This includes any legal paperwork; child custody; (click here to learn more about restraining orders)
• Tell neighbors, friends, landlords, or co-workers that your partner no longer lives w/ you.
• Have a safety plan coming and going home, to work, children’s school, etc…  Change hours if possible and change routes frequently.
• Shop in different stores (grocery, hardware, restaurants, etc…) than you normally would if possible.  If not, change routes and have a safety plan.
• Keep your house well lighted outside.  Have an automatic light turn on when someone comes to your door.
• Make sure your landscaping does not hinder your view.  Keep trees and plants well trimmed.
• Show your children how to dial 911.
• Have a safety plan for your child (talk to them about it and practice with them).
• Yell “FIRE” if you need help in a public place.  People respond more quickly to fire rather than someone crying for help.